Monday, November 17, 2008

Essay #5

Alright, I'm having alot of trouble writing essay #5 so be as harsh as possible please! I can't seem to write heavily opinionated papers. I'm having trouble finding facts regarding my paper, all I can include (not in this version) are quotes on thoughts from others which might help support my thoughts. I know it's very incomplete, but I'm working on it and so far this is my sloppy base for my final essay.

Note- Missing some body paragraphs/ intro sounds more like a body(let me know)/No conclusion yet.


I believe a big part of American culture today has to do with the consumer- driven part of society and their views. It seems America is in need of a culture, when I asked my American friends about their culture they often referred to the culture in which their family had originally came from. The dictionary defines the word culture in different ways, but the most interesting definition I’ve found is that culture is “the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group: the youth culture; the drug culture.” My belief is that today’s society could be partially defined as a consumer based culture in which our beliefs, ideals, and way of thinking comes from what we observe in the media. Society observes culture
The average American family doesn’t have time to spend on big celebrations like Christmas or Thanksgiving, commitment to jobs prevents many families from traveling or getting together with friends (provide statistics). Often times, Christmas is no more than exchanging gifts with family members, which is fine, but in a way defeats the reasons for celebrating a Christmas. Celebrations might occur within a family because It’s considered normal to do so, but they might not know what the holiday means or why they should be celebrating it. (include something on Jehobas Witness)
Culture has changed over the past fifty years. Moments such as family dinners have slowly disappeared, holidays are now an excuse to take time from work and families have lost their identity or tie to a culture to call their own. It was within American culture for families to sit down in the afternoon or evening to share a meal. Today, there’s no time for small celebrations due to pressures in work, school, and even friends. (look into stats for families and their celebrations)
American culture is viewed in several different ways, often times these views come off as slightly negative. My Italian teacher mentioned to me that most Italians think of Americans was “pill poppers.” She said American culture is viewed as one which runs on medication and unnatural supplements. It’s hard to believe that a country like America could be defined by a single image of culture, but unfortunately and ultimately our culture is viewed as fake (go into reasoning, provide examples/ thoughts) (Include medias influence over our image over seas and here as well).

2 comments:

Riley said...

1. My belief is that today’s society could be partially defined as a consumer based culture in which our beliefs, ideals, and way of thinking comes from what we observe in the media

2. talks about loss of a definite culture in America

3. yes

4. Does the writer address counter-claims in the essay? Does the writer effectively refute the counter with evidence and reasoning?

5. Talk more about how the media and consumerism directly effects all of us, the christmas example is a good one

6. Maybe explain a little bit about how the media makes our country go round and isn't wholly bad

7. Be more assertive with your thesis, instead of "could be partially defined" say something like "my belief is that is defined as..."

SamMaurer said...

I'm going to ignore the teacher's evaluating prompt. I'll just give you feedback. I agree with Riley that you should make a more clear and confident thesis. Even if you don't totally care about the subject matter, it's always best to act like it's all you care about. This essay is more of a commentary than an analysis, and since there was no direct reading for this essay, i do not think we are expected to pack the quotes in. Sure, some help, but don't stress over getting them in. I probably won't have any in my essay. Lastly, I think you should talk about the American dream. Like how people can go from rags to riches, and strive to become wealthy in our free market. You have a really good start though, and i'm sure it will all come together nicely in the end.